Today, many guys are actually the women in the relationship but they are too blind to see it. I’ve put together in summary, seven ways women use men that most men do not realize.
1. Sex: This has to top the list. I remember back then in school, a course mate was telling me how she got her Samsung tab. She said after going out a few times with the man, he took her to a plaza and got her a tab for almost 100k. She then proudly indicated when she got the tab, she decided to sleep with him. Do you get the drift? She rewarded the man with sex. And this remains the most powerful weapon today. Women (even in marriages) have painted intimacy as what a man has to earn. So, you will see the average guy running pillar to post just to get into a girl’s pants. Yet, it is the same act that they will both enjoy! If you as a man do not learn to turn down the advances of a woman from time to time, you will still remain under her power. There is something about a man who refused to be manipulated into sex. The woman will immediately see him as a conquest she must win. Guys, learn to say “no” too. You won’t die!
2. Being the one to ask her out: It is a tradition, especially in Africa that a man should ask a woman out. Have you observed that once a man says he wants a relationship with a woman, she suddenly gains an influence over him? Well, there is little that can be done here. However, some guys have found their way around it. How? They simply ensure that she is way into them too that she starts to show not just green light, but all the colors of the rainbow. Guys who do not understand this are those still committed to chasing a woman for weeks stretching into months. Or better still, quit begging a woman for a relationship. They often have more to gain than give in the relationship anyway.
3. Showing weakness on purpose: There is an effect on a man that comes when a woman shows him her weakness. Once she shows her seeming inability to do something, what naturally comes to your mind as a guy? To help her out, isn’t it? For instance, if she was in the sun trying to get a taxi, you may feel inclined to offer her a ride. But have you ever done that for a guy? Okay, let’s rephrase the question: have you even ever shown concern for a guy in such a situation? Of course not! But what does the society call such preferential acts? Being a gentleman. This is the reason why some guys will buy a lady a phone of 70k while their brother is using torchlight. And women have discovered this! Have you seen a woman showing her weakness to her fellow woman? Hardly! But she shows it to a guy. Why? Because she knows he will start to feel like it is his responsibility to do something about it.
4. Crying over an issue: Does this need much explanation? She knows that if you truly love her, you can’t bear to see her cry. So, when logic and all forms of persuasion prove abortive, this is the last bet. And for most guys, when they see the tears, their reasoning just goes to sleep. The point is, most of these tears are not genuine. She is simply using a weapon in her armory to achieve her goal.
5. Stirring jealousy: She may not be getting attention from you or she wants you to take notice of her. To get quick attention from you, she decides to flirt with other guys in your presence. The aim is to get you jealous, put you on your toes and make you run to her. Most women believe flirting with other guys will make their men see them as valuable and desirable by others. You may get angry for a while (yes, they know), but eventually, your girl probably knows you will start working yourself hard to keep her.
6. Petting and flattery: This is one of the most rampant, even online. This is what makes a guy pounce on his fellow guy online simply because a female referred to him as “baby”. Seriously, guys need to grow past this! The craze to hear sweet things from a woman has made many go to surprising lengths. Beware when she suddenly is all nice to you. Beware when she flatters you. You have no idea what is about to hit you. If you do, you probably won’t be smiling sheepishly.
7. Playing the guilt card: This is reverse psychology. What happens here is that she will blame you for something to get you to try defending yourself and then getting you to do what she blamed you about. Let’s say she accused you of not loving her as a reason why you did not get her an iPad. What is the motive? To get you to explain that you love her and promise to get her an iPad in the end. You know the implication? She just stripped you of the right to complain that you will not buy her the phone. Or else, you risk proving that you don’t love her. My best advice to guys in this situation: do nothing, say nothing. Just let the accusation hang and be quiet. if must say something, tell her that she do not value the relationship that is why she weigh the level of love using material things.